YOU CAN'T JUST SHARE THE MENTAL LOAD WITH YOUR PARTNER. YOU REALLY DO NEED A VILLAGE — WITH KELLY HUBBELL

Modern Mommy Doc

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PUBLICATION DATE:

November 30, 2023

YOU CAN'T JUST SHARE THE MENTAL LOAD WITH YOUR PARTNER. YOU REALLY DO NEED A VILLAGE — WITH KELLY HUBBELL

Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: The Invisible Load

About Our Guest:

Kelly Hubbell is the founder and CEO of Sage Hous, an online platform to help busy Moms have it all without doing it all. My digital courses, eBook and resources encourage building a village and outsourcing the mental load of motherhood so we can be more present, reclaim our time and stop resenting our spouse.

You can find more information about Sage Haus at www.mysagehaus.com.

About the Episode:

This episode, Dr. Whitney is joined by Kelly Hubbell, founder and CEO of Sage House, an online platform designed for moms who want to really value their time and make the most of the hours in their days, focusing the most on what matters to them. They talk through the roadblocks working moms come against when trying to balance the workloads in their families and how we can help prepare our children to do the same in theirs.

Episode Takeaways:

Moms everywhere are on the verge of mental crisis as they attempt to do it all for everyone all alone. Many of the tasks we take on, though, don't have to rest on our shoulders. Not only can they be offloaded, they should be offloaded. The question is, how do we do it without emptying our savings accounts or continuing to ask our partners for help, only to feel disappointment by their lack of enthusiasm or initiation when it comes to building equity alongside us.

Society tells us we should be able to to do it all as working moms, even when it's quite literally impossible to do it. No one can be a domestic goddess, lean in career woman, amazing parent, perfect friend, and awesome lover all at the exact same time. A successful life isn't about balance, it's about giving our time, energy and focus to our highest priorities and most important values, not the opposite.

Old-school parenting villages don't exist anymore, so what's a mom to do? Redefine what a village looks like for us in the modern age, that's what. Maybe it means one person you can tell your deepest, darkest secrets to; one you can rely on for last-minute childcare help, and one you actually pay to offload some of the tasks you hate the most, freeing your time and energy to put toward more meaningful or impactful efforts.

Even though we often think that paying to delegate our chores or responsibilities is only for the rich and famous, small acts of delegation can actually save time and money, no matter what your circumstances. Intentional, mutual delegation like swapping chores with a neighbor is one way to lighten your load without any associated costs. If finding additional assistance at a small price allows you to make even more progress in your business, or saves you money on costly expenses like doctor bills or therapy sessions, though, that spend is well worth it.

REAL-TALK ABOUT KIDS' SLEEP (AND WHY ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL ADVICE DOESN'T WORK)

By asterbenc • July 29, 2025

About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.