• Totum Women focuses on four areas of wholeness in motherhood: mind, body, ambition, and relationship. These 4 areas are revolutionized when you become a mother and, if not addressed, can lead women to feel unsupported and like a shell of their former pre-kid self. They provide resources and support for women as they transition to the new season of being a mom so they can navigate the intersection of ambition and motherhood. 

• There’s a mounting pressure from the places like the “Lean In” Movement and even Beyonce lyrics like “strong enough to have the babies and then get back to work” that tell us that we’re not good feminists if we don’t go right back to work after having babies. The general school of thought used to (incorrectly) be that we were bad moms if we wanted to also work. Now it’s shifted to the idea that you’re less of a woman if you didn’t want to lean in or if you wanted to simply enjoy your time with your babies.

• There’s so much written about women getting pushed out of the workforce during the pandemic, but it’s troublesome that we might equate work and productivity with self worth. Where we are going to assume that if we DON’T head right back to work or go in the same capacity, that we are no longer as “good” of a woman. Which then can easily be confused and turned into resentment towards our kids when we have to make an adjustment at work in order to take care of them. Are we really resentful that we have to take a break to take our kids to an appointment or are we simply listening to the “productivity = your worth” mindset? Or are you really irritated that there’s not enough support at work when we have to take that break? Or that you don’t have enough childcare support when you’re doing something at work that you really like and want to follow through on?

• Comparative suffering is when you look at what you’re going through and compare it to the “difficulty” level of what someone else is going through. Sometimes it’s hard to feel like you can be upset about what you’re going through when you know others have it a lot “harder,” but there’s no reason to be a player in the Suffering Olympics. Everyone has their own version of hard and it doesn’t make it more or less hard for you just because someone else is going through something difficult. You can walk through this as a thoughtful, conscious person–while still taking into account what others are dealing with and responding with compassion and empathy.

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