MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

BOUNDARIES + CENTERED VISION

8 SIGNS YOU MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BOUNDARIES

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

April 11, 2022

8 SIGNS YOU MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BOUNDARIES

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: BOUNDARIES + CENTERED VISION

Hi. My name is Dr. Whitney, and I’m a recovering People Pleaser.


Hi, Dr. Whitney.


When I was younger, I was a “good kid.” I never really got in trouble. All my teachers loved me. I answered questions when I was supposed to (always with a raised hand) and was quiet when I knew that’s what they wanted.


I was
that kid in class.


But it didn’t just stop after elementary school.


Early in dating, I never wanted to fight with Scott because I didn’t want him mad at me. I, as a full-grown woman, still gave into my mom’s requests that I knew would turn my day upside down. I said yes to all the things at work so that no one would have an excuse to say anything negative about me.


Through (a good amount of) therapy, I’ve learned I was doing those things not just because I was a nice person who wanted to do nice things for other people (I REALLY wish that was the reason.) What it really boiled down to was the fact that I had a hard time setting and keeping boundaries with other people. I tried so hard to avoid conflict with other people because I was convinced their feelings and comfort were more important than mine.


So this one is for all the women who’ve said yes to a request at work when they knew it was going to wreak havoc on their family. Who’ve stayed silent in meetings because they didn’t want to rock the boat. Who’ve not said anything to the in-laws about the amount of sugar they hand out at their house, even though their kids will be tantruming for hours on the way home as they hit that sugar crash.

Here are 8 signs you may have a problem setting and keeping boundaries:


1. You absolutely hate it when you let other people down. This means that you often go along with other people’s plans and say yes to things you wouldn’t usually choose to do, and possibly don’t want to do. Extra committees, agreeing to restaurants that you know you won’t be able to find anything for your kid’s health restrictions on the menu, choosing to go along with a haphazard schedule at work in order to accommodate your boss’ new whim.


2. You feel like how other people feel is up to you. You worry whether they’re having a good time and are feeling good. You go out of your way to make sure this is the case. Which means you feel guilty and anxious pretty regularly. You can never feel settled because there’s always going to be a person who is upset or a fire to put out. And you have to be the one to do it.


3. You are constantly tired and don’t even know why. And every mama said, “AMEN!” While it’s different than “mom-tired,” it’s incredibly common. It happens as you’re giving all your energy away by constantly tending to everyone else’s needs and putting your own on the backburner.


4. It’s easy for other people to take advantage of you. You’re pretty sure
that’s not what you agreed to, but you’d rather not say anything. And they know you won’t either. You may even wonder if you’re being manipulated by those who are closest to you.


5. You are annoyed…all the time. On the reg, you’re never really doing the things you want to do and are usually going along with others. Which leads to resentment of others and their choices. It may also be because…


6.In your heart of hearts you think no one respects you. Which is proooobably because you’ve been pushed over too many times, so they don’t think they need to.


7. It’s hard for you to make your own decisions. Especially based on what you want because you’re always thinking about what everyone ELSE wants. When you actually have to decide for yourself, it’s exhausting and it can really make…


8. You’re less than sure about who you are, what you like, or what matters to you. It can feel like you are having an identity crisis. What do you like or dislike? What does it even feel like to make a decision based on what you WANT to do rather than what you THINK others want you to do?


Do you find yourself identifying with some of those? Been there (sometimes still there.) 


Head over to the
Modern Mamas Club App and join the discussion so you can learn from other moms who’ve felt the same way and how they draw healthy boundaries in their lives. And don’t miss next week’s blog where we look at 3 Steps to Setting and Keeping a Healthy Boundary!

Raising Body-Confident Kids Starts at the Doctor's Office!

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About the Episode: In this episode, Dr. Whitney sits down with Dr. Jay Gargus and Dave Justus from NeuroQure to discuss the power of early clarity when it comes to autism detection and why earlier intervention can fundamentally change outcomes for childre n and families. Dr. Gargus explains the science behind early behavioral therapies and why their impact goes far beyond short-term skill-building. Research shows that early, evidence-based interventions can lead to measurable, lifelong improvements in IQ, so cial skills, independence, and educational placement, often determining whether a child can thrive in mainstream education or requires ongoing specialized support. The conversation also tackles a critical and often overlooked issue: access. Dave Justus shares the personal motivation behind NeuroQure’s work and explains why the test is being launched at cost, with installment plans and employer subsidies, while the team works toward insurance coverage. The goal is to prevent families from losing precious years waiting for answers. Together, they emphasize a hopeful message for parents: families don’t need to wait for a future “silver bullet.” We already have therapies that work and getting kids connected to them earlier can change the course of a lifetime. In this episode, we discuss: Why early autism detection leads to lifelong changes—not just short-term gains What a 17-point IQ difference actually means for education, independence, and quality of life How early intervention can shift developmental trajectories as early as 6 months The science and validation behind current autism therapies Why NeuroQure is pricing testing at cost while pursuing insurance coverage How early clarity can reduce long-term strain on families, schools, and healthcare systems This episode is a powerful reminder that timing matters and that early access to answers can make an extraordinary difference for children and the families who love them. About Our Guest: Dr. Jay Gargus, MD, PhD is a physician-scientist and nationally recognized expert in neurodevelopmental disorders, with decades of experience researching the biological underpinnings of autism. His work has focused on translating well-established science into meaningful, real-world interventions that can improve lifelong outcomes for children. Dr. Gargus emphasizes that early, evidence-based therapies are already available—and that connecting families to them sooner can fundamentally change developmental trajectories. Dave Justus is a parent and the founder of NeuroQure, whose work is driven by personal experience navigating delayed autism diagnosis and intervention. Motivated by the belief that early clarity can spare families years of uncertainty, Dave is focused on expanding access to early testing through cost-based pricing and ongoing efforts to secure insurance coverage. His mission is simple but powerful: ensure families don’t have to wait for answers that could change everything. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Book Order your copy of My One-of-a-Kind Body 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books 🎁 Claim Your Free Bonus When you order on our site, you’ll also get access to a FREE video mini-course with five bite-sized lessons for parents. In just 25 minutes, you’ll walk away with: Simple, script-style ways to respond when your kid says, “I hate my thighs” How to talk about health without weight talk What to do when your own inner critic shows up How to interrupt diet culture at home The first step to raising a body-confident kid, even if you didn’t grow up as one 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. Leave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
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About the Episode: In this episode, Dr. Whitney sits down with Dr. Jay Gargus and Dave Justus from NeuroQure to discuss the power of early clarity when it comes to autism detection and why earlier intervention can fundamentally change outcomes for childre n and families. Dr. Gargus explains the science behind early behavioral therapies and why their impact goes far beyond short-term skill-building. Research shows that early, evidence-based interventions can lead to measurable, lifelong improvements in IQ, so cial skills, independence, and educational placement, often determining whether a child can thrive in mainstream education or requires ongoing specialized support. The conversation also tackles a critical and often overlooked issue: access. Dave Justus shares the personal motivation behind NeuroQure’s work and explains why the test is being launched at cost, with installment plans and employer subsidies, while the team works toward insurance coverage. The goal is to prevent families from losing precious years waiting for answers. Together, they emphasize a hopeful message for parents: families don’t need to wait for a future “silver bullet.” We already have therapies that work and getting kids connected to them earlier can change the course of a lifetime. In this episode, we discuss: Why early autism detection leads to lifelong changes—not just short-term gains What a 17-point IQ difference actually means for education, independence, and quality of life How early intervention can shift developmental trajectories as early as 6 months The science and validation behind current autism therapies Why NeuroQure is pricing testing at cost while pursuing insurance coverage How early clarity can reduce long-term strain on families, schools, and healthcare systems This episode is a powerful reminder that timing matters and that early access to answers can make an extraordinary difference for children and the families who love them. About Our Guest: Dr. Jay Gargus, MD, PhD is a physician-scientist and nationally recognized expert in neurodevelopmental disorders, with decades of experience researching the biological underpinnings of autism. His work has focused on translating well-established science into meaningful, real-world interventions that can improve lifelong outcomes for children. Dr. Gargus emphasizes that early, evidence-based therapies are already available—and that connecting families to them sooner can fundamentally change developmental trajectories. Dave Justus is a parent and the founder of NeuroQure, whose work is driven by personal experience navigating delayed autism diagnosis and intervention. Motivated by the belief that early clarity can spare families years of uncertainty, Dave is focused on expanding access to early testing through cost-based pricing and ongoing efforts to secure insurance coverage. His mission is simple but powerful: ensure families don’t have to wait for answers that could change everything. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Book Order your copy of My One-of-a-Kind Body 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books 🎁 Claim Your Free Bonus When you order on our site, you’ll also get access to a FREE video mini-course with five bite-sized lessons for parents. In just 25 minutes, you’ll walk away with: Simple, script-style ways to respond when your kid says, “I hate my thighs” How to talk about health without weight talk What to do when your own inner critic shows up How to interrupt diet culture at home The first step to raising a body-confident kid, even if you didn’t grow up as one 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. Leave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
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