MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

WORKING MAMA

WHY DO YOU KEEP ON SAYING SORRY?

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

July 11, 2022

WHY DO YOU KEEP ON SAYING SORRY?

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: WORKING MAMA

The other day, I was chaperoning my daughter’s field trip to the strawberry fields. I don’t choose to go on every field trip opportunity, but when I do, I really love getting to spend time with her and see her in a different environment than I usually do. 


Halfway through, I got a text from a co-worker:
Hey, I know you’re on your vacation day with your daughter’s field trip, but I was wondering if you could come in this afternoon to see a patient who got scheduled erroneously. It would be a big help. Thanks!


I knew I wasn’t going to leave the field trip and head into the office for a routine appointment. That was not going to happen.


BUT. As I started to type out my response, something caught my attention.


I started writing: So sorry! The field trip lasts till 3 so I won’t have time to come in. Ugh–sorry again!


Did you catch it?


I was apologizing for the fact that I was out with my daughter on a prearranged vacation day. I was apologizing for not coming in on my time off. Essentially, I was apologizing for being a mom.


Delete delete delete.


I think we need to stop saying sorry so much.


Don’t get me wrong. When you’re genuinely in the wrong, you need to say so. But apologizing for living your life? I’m over it.


Here’s what I think we need to do instead. Two words: thank you.


What if instead of saying, “Sorry I’m a few minutes late, my kids took forever to get out the door,” you said, “Thank you for your patience.”


When someone catches a typo in your presentation, instead of, “Oh! Sorry about that,” try, “Nice catch! Thanks for looking out for me!”


When you’ve been talking with your friend about some issues you’re wrestling through, instead of, “Sorry I’ve been droning on forever”, you can say, “Thank you for listening to me.”


When we say sorry for things that are simply out of our control or for things that are because we simply exist, we’re constantly belittling ourselves. We’re saying we don’t matter as much as others. That we can’t take up space.


I’m no longer apologizing for being a mom. “Sorry, I won’t be able to join that committee. I have to pick up my daughter from school during the meetings,” becomes, “Thanks for the opportunity, but it doesn’t fit in my schedule.”


And that erroneously scheduled patient request? They got a “Thanks for asking, but I’m not able to come in today.”


Still a mom. Still a doctor. Just giving the things that deserve my yeses my FULL yes.


Mama: Stop the Burnout!

Free 5-Day Program

START NOW
By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
By asterbenc July 22, 2025
YOU get to choose.
By Dr. Whitney July 16, 2025
Looking for the perfect backpack? Look no further.
By Your Working Mom Life June 12, 2025
Trust me: you can trust yourself.
By Your Motherhood Journey June 5, 2025
Is shame holding you back from all the relationships you wish you had?

Welcome! Get the information you need to win at parenting without losing yourself.

LEARN MORE

Doing it All is Finally Here!


Wish your partner would do more to lessen your mental load?


Want to make self-care a priority but not sure how to?


SIGN UP FOR SUSTAINABLE SELF-CARE. IT'S FREE. CLICK HERE



FRESH

ON THE PODCAST


By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
By asterbenc July 22, 2025
YOU get to choose.
By Your Working Mom Life June 12, 2025
Trust me: you can trust yourself.