About the Episode:
We’re not supposed to say it out loud, but here it is: working moms grieve too. We grieve missed milestones, canceled bedtimes, and the tiny, invisible moments no one else sees. In this episode, Dr. Whitney opens up about the emotional weight of “having it all” and the myth that we can be everywhere at once. She shares how to name the grief, process it with mindful self-compassion, and redefine what it means to show up for your kids (and yourself). If you’ve ever felt torn between ambition and motherhood, this one's for you.
Key Takeaways:
1. Micro-grief in motherhood is real, and it matters.
This isn’t the grief of catastrophic loss, but the accumulation of small, meaningful disappointments: missing the school recital, not being there for bedtime, watching someone else witness your child’s firsts. These moments don’t always feel big enough to name as grief, but over time they build up. Acknowledging that these small losses matter is the first step in caring for ourselves emotionally.
2. You can fully believe in working motherhood and still feel sad when you’re not with your kids.
There’s a false binary that says if you champion career advancement and gender equality, you shouldn’t feel conflicted. But the truth is, you can be grateful for the path you’re on and feel deep sadness about what it costs sometimes. One does not invalidate the other. Holding space for both emotions is part of the complexity of modern motherhood.
3. The myth of “having it all” is toxic and unattainable.
Culturally, we’ve been sold an idea that a successful woman should be everything at once: a present and nurturing parent, a driven professional, a glowing partner, a tireless community member. That’s not realistic. And trying to meet those expectations often leaves us feeling like we’re failing everywhere. The more we name that myth, the more power we have to dismantle it.
4. Mindful self-compassion is an essential tool for working moms.
Dr. Whitney shares how the evidence-based practice of mindful self-compassion, developed by psychologist Kristin Neff, can help moms process difficult emotions like guilt, sadness, and frustration. It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend and learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings rather than push them aside.
Get the books she mentions:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive
5. Being a “good enough” mom doesn’t mean being at everything—it means showing up with presence and intention.
Dr. Whitney encourages listeners to rethink what it means to be present. It’s not about attending every moment. It’s about being fully with your child when you’re there. When we define motherhood not by quantity of time but by quality of connection, we give ourselves permission to be fully human—and to be enough just as we are.
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