Dr. Whitney chats with Alexandra Scherzer, parenting guide and Co-Founder of Wise Parenting, about how parents can raise their kids from a different perspective. They discuss new-parent overwhelm as well as what it looks like to parent based on who your child is and what your parenting abilities are.
EPISODE Highlights:
Dr. Whitney: Tell us about who you are and how Wise Parenting came about.
Alexandra: I am really passionate about helping parents in this current state we’re living in where doubting yourself and whether or not you can handle it all is the norm. That’s how I started my parenting journey and it shaped where I wanted to go. I combined my proper knowledge of child development with practical guidance on how to live intentionally. And that’s how I help parents.
Dr. Whitney: How did you find yourself drowning as a new mom or seen it with other moms?
Alexandra: Mine came from breastfeeding and sleep. None of it went how I thought it would go. And when it did, I got told from sources all over that I was doing it wrong. So most of the time that feeling of drowning comes from the differences of expectations and reality and information overload when you’re trying to reconcile those two things. And you get tied into all the negative emotions that come with that experience.
Dr. Whitney: That’s a really common experience. And we know we can control the way we react in a situation, but we can’t control anything about any other person. And that doesn’t change if they’re babies or pre-teens.
Alexandra: This notion that if you do A, you will get B makes parents believe that if that doesn’t happen that there’s something wrong with them or their child. That leaves no room for biology or environment. Your baby’s in-born genes are driving your baby’s behavior from the second they’re born, by way of their own unique way of expressing their emotions. They’re feeling emotions just like any other kiddo. And it all comes out in their behavior.
The idea that parents are causing every single behavior in their child is incorrect and damaging. You can’t parent your way into making your baby a certain way. Things like mood, sleep needs, food needs, and energy level are areas that just ARE they they way they are, having nothing to do with the quality of parenting they’re getting.
Dr. Whitney: What are the framework pieces for WISE?
Alexandra:
W stands for WHO. Accepting and respecting who your child is is paramount to moving forward with them. And that can be difficult for parents to do, especially if the way that comes out is through behavior that parents aren’t really comfortable with. Accepting and respecting who they are from the very beginning is what will set them up for success in the future, even into adulthood.
I stands for INSIDE. What is going on inside their brain? There is SO much development that goes on from 0-6 years old that affects you even into adulthood. And when you look at your child in terms of where they are developmentally can be tremendously helpful as you weed through all of the parenting advice out there that mostly doesn’t matter.
S stands for SELF AWARE. This looks at where you’re coming from as a parent and all the perspective and experiences you bring, even from before you were a parent. This also takes into account your own temperament, which CAN flow into your child’s temperament, and looking at how your goals as a parent might differ drastically from how you were raised.
E stands for execution. Putting it all together and how it interacts together. Looking at all the factors of who your child is, where they are developmentally, who you are as a parent, and figuring out how you can use that as your parent your child. This allows you to know what is important, what’s not, and what you can do as a parent within your abilities.
You can find Alexandra at
thewiseparentingacademy.com where you can sign up for her email list where she does free workshops every 4-6 weeks.
