When every day feels like it’s on repeat.

When you feel like nothing you do is making a difference in your future.

When you have so many freaking things going on in your life that you wake up dreaming about going back to sleep that night.

Every single human being on the planet faces a million different kinds of stressors. From childhood to adulthood, they’re there. And they range from small inconveniences to something that will knock you off your feet. But the fact remains that we ALL experience hardships and seasons that feel a lot trickier to navigate than others. Or seasons that feel a lot harder for us than for those we see around us.

The science remains pretty clear on this one for us: the #1 way to fight trauma, stress, and ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) is resilience. For kids, learning resilience is one of the most important determinants of social-economic and overall health. And the fastest way to build it? 

Control.

Not in a “I’m type A and have to be in control of things at all times” kind of way. But in a way that empowers children of all circumstances and backgrounds with agency over their situation. We’ve seen in maternal and child public health studies that show CLEARLY that ACEs can bring about more ACEs when put within a family context, but that resilience and empowerment are also contagious with families.

Yep, terrible, no good, no fair things happen. But choosing to model resilience to your kids strengthens and changes families for the better.

That’s why we talk SO much about The Centered Life here at Modern Mommy Doc.  No matter what our background or economic level, we can define a vision for our lives as working parents that’s in alignment with our goals and priorities. Then, even when life gets messy and circumstances, systems, or people get in the way and hold us back, that centered vision acts as a North Star to come back to time and time again. 

It’s a goal-oriented framework to remind us of what’s most important to us in the long-term, even if resources and circumstances hold us back from fully realizing it in the immediate future. With this mindset, you’ll focuses on capitalizing on and leaning into what you can control, even in a world filled with discrimination, racism, inequities, and injustice. 

And with all of the talk of new goals as the last year ends and the new year begins in just a few days, this is a perfect time to start this practice. Your resolutions don’t have to be about your body or your money. One about your mindset is just as (if not more!) important.

When you decide to take control over your life in all areas, it doesn’t just become about home and work life. YOU get to decide what it looks like. What the You Life feels like. What you allow it to include. And what to decide to keep out.

Taking control of your life isn’t about who has the hardest life or who hurts the most, it’s about clearly defining what you want from your life and shaping your life around that.