MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

PODCAST EPISODE | #114

WHERE TOXIC POSITIVITY STEMS FROM AND HOW IT’S DAMAGING TO WOMEN

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

September 1, 2022

WHERE TOXIC POSITIVITY STEMS FROM AND HOW IT’S DAMAGING TO WOMEN

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: PODCAST EPISODE | #114

THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

Toxic positivity takes optimism 100 steps further and says that you can accomplish great things simply by believing, leaving no room for doubt. It’s not positive self-talk. We know that being pessimistic all day creates a really tough environment to see your goals accomplished. Toxic positivity flips that on its head and says ALL you have to do is to think positively and you’re all set.


The reason toxic positivity is so damaging is because it doesn’t leave room for when life just isn’t great. And it makes you feel like YOU are the cause…you just weren’t positive enough about it. But doesn’t take into consideration any of the systemic level issues that have been in place for generations, like sexism, racism, and a culture that doesn’t support women getting ahead. 

We can’t continue to put things on ourselves as moms that just don’t belong there. Medical diagnosis, financial strain, behavioral issues–none of those can just be wished away with positive thoughts. And none of those are anyone’s fault because they weren’t positive enough.


Where does it stem from? A lot of it comes from the American Dream of “if you can just work hard enough, you can do anything you want to set your mind to.” Then we have the predatory MLM practices that seek after women in mid to upper middle class that tell them they can be a billionaire too if they just talk to every one of their friends. There’s social media coaches that tout the idea of 20k months because you’ve just worked hard. These ideas hammer in the idea that we can manifest anything we want to and it’s not really okay to have a bad day or a situation that doesn’t go our way.



Don’t hide from the imperfect and shitty days. Feel those feelings. But limit yourself to the time you’re allowed to stay in those feelings. And then take the steps to start fresh and move forward (move your body, set up your food and your day for success, etc…)

Mama: Stop the Burnout!

Free 5-Day Program

START NOW
By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
By asterbenc July 22, 2025
YOU get to choose.
By Dr. Whitney July 16, 2025
Looking for the perfect backpack? Look no further.
By Your Working Mom Life June 12, 2025
Trust me: you can trust yourself.
By Your Motherhood Journey June 5, 2025
Is shame holding you back from all the relationships you wish you had?

Welcome! Get the information you need to win at parenting without losing yourself.

LEARN MORE

Doing it All is Finally Here!


Wish your partner would do more to lessen your mental load?


Want to make self-care a priority but not sure how to?


SIGN UP FOR SUSTAINABLE SELF-CARE. IT'S FREE. CLICK HERE



FRESH

ON THE PODCAST


By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
By asterbenc July 22, 2025
YOU get to choose.
By Your Working Mom Life June 12, 2025
Trust me: you can trust yourself.