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WORKING MOMS + PARENTING

THE LIES WORKING MOMS BELIEVE: I’M A BAD MOM BECAUSE I BROUGHT STORE-BOUGHT COOKIES TO THE BAKE SALE

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

September 6, 2021

THE LIES WORKING MOMS BELIEVE: I’M A BAD MOM BECAUSE I BROUGHT STORE-BOUGHT COOKIES TO THE BAKE SALE

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: WORKING MOMS + PARENTING

Each year when school would roll around, I used to have such grand plans of how THIS was going to be the year that I was finally going to be that mom for my daughter’s class. You know the one. She’s always at the school, bringing personalized treats to the teachers (that she obviously knows very well), is the chairperson of all the committees, and you can be absolutely sure that she brought homemade organic vegan brownies to the bakesale that everyone loves.


That was the dream.


Until about 2 days into the school year when that all fell to crap.


As working moms, that kind of investment into the school is basically impossible for us to do. And often we can feel (whether it’s self-imposed or the real or imagined judgment from other non-working parents) that the level of commitment we
can do is just not enough. Of all the places it seems working moms are like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole, forever not able to measure up or be fully present enough, it’s at school.


Like we’re holding our kids back or harming them because we’re working parents.


Even if I feel all purposeful about the choices I’ve made about saying yes to work, that lingering question of how it’s affecting my kids still hangs out in the back of my mind. The clanging, “you’re hurting your kids and your family” lie seems loudest whenever it has to do with my kids’ school experiences. 


As the queen Billie Eilish says,

“Stop. What the hell are you talking about?”


Before I even start talking about ways to manage the chaos that the school year can bring, we’ve got to bring some truth to this lie that we hear (mostly from our own self-talk) all the time. We tell ourselves the story that our kids are going to be scarred because we weren’t at every field trip or because a few days a week someone else picked them up from school. This isn’t me saying to work ALL the time and let your kids just deal with it.


Far from it.


But what I AM saying is that all moms are different. As a working mom, we give our kids distinctive learning opportunities, arm them with unique strengths, and show them what's important and what's not. That means we can be fully present for the things that really matter, like being attuned to their emotional and academic progress in school and helping them navigate friendships, but we can
absolutely let go of being the bake sale queen. Just buy the damn cookies. 


Repeat after me:
I’m the best mom for my kids not in spite of the fact that I work and have dreams, but because I do.


My kids are watching me all the time. They see me hustling hard to reach my goals and being 100% committed to my vision for myself and for them. No, I’m never going to crochet them intricate Halloween costumes (that’d be weird anyway) or greet them with homemade cookies in the afternoon, but I am going to give them a shining example of how to contribute to their communities and how to make a difference in the lives of other people. 


I’m going to show them that the best version of any girl, or of any mom, or of any person, for that matter, is the version that is unapologetically true to herself. Above all, I’m going to be completely invested in my children in the ways that really matter, teaching them the life skills they need to thrive; showing them that women can be nurturers, contributors, and all-out bosses at home and professionally; giving them support, attention, and unconditional love. 


You may work as a customer service agent at a call center and can show your kids how to extend grace and kindness even when others treat you unfairly or get frustrated. You might be an expert business executive who can teach your kids how to negotiate well for themselves, avoiding risky behaviors based on peer pressure down the line. Every working mom has some unique skill or superpower she’s imparting to her kids because she works, not in spite of it.


As your kids go back to school this year, I know we were hoping for a rewind back to a year and a half ago. That they could step back on campus like nothing had ever happened. For most kids, that’s not the case. There’s still masks and social-distancing, if your kid gets to attend in person school at all. Add on top of that the unique way the school year can stress out a mom, and it can be a recipe for meltdowns. How on earth do you keep track of it all when you can’t BE there all of the time?



Quick Tips for Staying Involved With Your Child’s School Life:


1) Sign up for email newsletter updates from the school so you can stay up to date on major happenings.

 

2) Designate a way to communicate with your child’s teacher effectively and efficiently; apps, email, and text all work well, depending on the situation.


3) Stay in the know by developing a community of other parents you know and trust.


4) Sign up to volunteer only if it works for your schedule and if you have enough bandwidth to handle it.


5) Ask ahead of time about special field trips and classroom events on the calendar so you can pre plan and see which ones your schedule will allow you to attend.


Sign Up

Mama: Stop the Burnout!

Free 5-Day Program

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By asterbenc August 5, 2025
Between school drop-offs, back-to-back meetings, pediatric appointments, and trying to remember where your toddler hid the remote, figuring out dinner can feel like the final straw. In Doing It All , I talk a lot about how systems—not willpower—help us thrive. And when it comes to getting food on the table with less stress, fewer meltdowns, and more time for connection, systems are everything. That’s why Suvie caught my attention. This isn’t another gadget you’ll shove in the back of a cabinet after three uses. It’s a full-on dinner solution: a smart kitchen robot that refrigerates your food, then cooks it at the exact time you need it, even if you’re nowhere near your kitchen. Let’s break down how it works and why it’s such a game changer for busy families. What Suvie Actually Does Suvie is a multi-zone, Wi-Fi-enabled countertop appliance that does more than just cook. It’s designed to take the guesswork (and time pressure) out of dinner. Here’s how: Load it in the morning with fresh or frozen food. Suvie keeps everything cold until it’s time to cook. At your scheduled time, it automatically switches to the cooking phase. By dinner, everything’s perfectly done with no last-minute scrambling. There’s also an app, so you can adjust the schedule or monitor progress remotely. And because it has multiple compartments for proteins, veggies, and starches, you can cook an entire meal at once. Each component cooked how it’s meant to be. Salmon won’t dry out. Broccoli won’t get soggy. And if you want crispy potatoes or a golden finish, just hit “broil.” How Suvie Supports Real-Life Parents In my clinical work and personal life, I’ve seen what happens when systems fall apart. We end up skipping meals, eating random snacks for dinner, or feeling overwhelmed by another task at the end of the day. Suvie doesn’t just make dinner, it builds margin. That sacred space in your day where you can take a breath and focus on what actually matters. Here’s how it aligns with the systems I recommend to families: 1. It takes dinner off your mental load. You prep in the morning (or even the night before), load Suvie, and then it’s off your plate. You don’t have to remember to preheat anything, flip anything, or start a timer. 2. It works around your schedule. Late work meeting? Soccer practice ran long? No problem. Adjust cooking time from your phone and still walk into a hot meal. 3. It supports real food. You can use their meal kits or cook your own food. Either way, it encourages whole ingredients with less time in the kitchen. 4. It’s not just for parents who love to cook. Whether you’re into DIY meal prep or need serious hand-holding, Suvie adapts to your comfort level. You can load in raw chicken and sweet potatoes, or scan a pre-loaded meal code and be done in seconds. Why Pediatricians (Like Me) Are Into It I’ll be honest: I don’t get excited about every kitchen gadget. But Suvie stands out because it’s actually useful. It meets families where they are and solves for something we all deal with: getting nutritious meals on the table, consistently, without it being a whole thing. Plus, with Suvie: You can make allergy-friendly meals without cross-contamination. Kids can get involved in loading or picking the meal. It encourages balanced nutrition—veggies, protein, starch—in a way that’s fast and low-stress. And it supports routines. Which we all know is key for kids (and adults). Smart Design Details Worth Knowing Let’s talk specs for a second—because Suvie’s design is no joke. Air-cushion back panel: Okay, not literally a backpack (ha!), but the back panel molds to your schedule like one molds to your body. The appliance refrigerates your food, then switches to cook mode—automatically. Multi-zone cooking: Cooks multiple elements of a meal—like chicken and veggies—at the same time, with optimal settings for each. 15+ cooking modes: Roast, slow cook, steam, sous vide, proof bread, and more. (Yes, even air fry!) App integration: Schedule meals or adjust cook times from anywhere. Refrigeration: Keeps ingredients cool until it’s time to cook with no spoilage or food safety stress. And if you use the Starch Cooker add-on, you can make pasta, rice, and grains that are perfectly timed to finish with the rest of the meal. The Bigger Picture: It’s Not Just About Dinner I always say: how your body feels during the day matters. Same for how your brain feels at the end of the day. If dinner feels like the 18th impossible thing on your list, then a tool like Suvie isn’t just helpful, it’s sanity-saving. Because the truth is, most of us aren’t looking for perfect meals or elaborate recipes. We’re just trying to: Feed our families well. Reduce decision fatigue. Stop rushing through the parts of the day that should feel connecting. And preserve a little space to sit down, breathe, and enjoy our people. Suvie makes that possible in a way I haven’t seen other appliances do. It’s not “set it and forget it” slow-cooker meals that turn to mush. It’s not pressure cooking that requires you to be hands-on. It’s actually tailored to a modern parent’s lifestyle. Final Thoughts We all need help sometimes. Whether it’s with childcare, carpools, or yes, dinner. Suvie is a reminder that support can come in many forms. And when it comes to reducing stress and reclaiming your evenings, having dinner handled? That’s a big win. If you’re looking to streamline weeknights, reduce your mental load, and build more systems into your parenting life, this might be one worth checking out. 👉 Learn more at www.suvie.com #ad #suviepartner
By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
By asterbenc July 22, 2025
YOU get to choose.
By Dr. Whitney July 16, 2025
Looking for the perfect backpack? Look no further.
By Your Working Mom Life June 12, 2025
Trust me: you can trust yourself.

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By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
By asterbenc July 22, 2025
YOU get to choose.
By Your Working Mom Life June 12, 2025
Trust me: you can trust yourself.