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NEW MAMA + NEWBORN

PARENTING HACKS FOR NEW MOMS | HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR GOOD AND BAD MATERNITY LEAVE DAYS

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

September 28, 2018

PARENTING HACKS FOR NEW MOMS | HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR GOOD AND BAD MATERNITY LEAVE DAYS

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: NEW MAMA + NEWBORN

The Maternity Leave Blahs


I spent so much time postpartum on maternity leave as a new mom sitting and watching TV. Alone. With my baby sleeping on me. It sounds cute and it was, for a few days. But, in the end, it was a bad thing to be isolated and mindless for so long.


The parents I see in my pediatrics clinic who feel the most content (instead of "blah" like I felt) have a plan for what to do with their time on parental leave and beyond. They know that, while unstructured weeks on end SOUND like a good idea, it usually leaves them feeling pretty down and purposeless once they’re about a month (or sooner) into it. We can ALL learn from them!


When my second baby came along, I made a commitment to turn off the TV and to turn on background music instead. I made playlists so I could already have music on-command that inspired and relaxed/energized me. I made a list of the friends I wanted to connect with and books I wanted to read. I figured out a self-care plan. I set up some (very light) contract work to do for a local health organization during my maternity leave. Non-stressful tasks that aren’t baby-related are so important for us, especially if we are used to being at work 40 hours a week.


Even if your baby is already here, take a moment to make a plan for self-care and for mental stimulation in the early days, weeks and months- it will pay off in the end.


The Maternity Leave Blues


There you are, half-dressed on maternity leave with baby vomit on your sweatshirt, hair kinked and messy, a house strewn with toys (that you swear you just picked up last night – how on earth did they get all over the house again so soon?). 


It’s either laugh or cry on those crazy parenting days. How to get from a feeling a complete desperation to a place of peace? I use a technique I call “Out of the Bubble.” 


Imagine yourself sitting on top of a huge glass bubble and you’re inside it with your child, having your moment. You can see what’s going on but you’re not a part of it. Instead, you’re an observer. You notice what’s going on before your eyes but it’s going on in front of you, not to you, like you’re watching yourself in a movie. Suddenly, as you breathe and observe, you’re not so caught up in how horrible everything is right then. You have emotional distance and gain some objectivity.


Of course, breathing in and out and while using imagery is not going to solve every problem you ever have as a parent, and you may not be able to even use this strategy every time you have a crazy day. When you can use it, though, you’ll feel yourself relax and develop mindfulness. You’ll build resilience in yourself and your kids as they watch you learn how to cope in stressful situations.


The Maternity Leave Blessings


We all know that maternity leave is no walk in the park. Hard days, boring days, in-between days...it's like a roller coaster. There are, though, hidden blessings in it all. Learn to get mindful and intentional while you're at home with your baby and you'll set yourself up for long-term success months, even years later.



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By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
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By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
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