MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

NEW MAMA + MAMA WELLNESS

MOTHERHOOD TOOLS | HOW TO GET REALISTIC

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

May 9, 2017

MOTHERHOOD TOOLS | HOW TO GET REALISTIC

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: NEW MAMA + MAMA WELLNESS



It's time to talk about Step 4 in Dealing With Barriers to Self-Care


STEP 4: Getting Realistic


If you’re reading this while holding your newborn and feeling like, “I can barely take a quick shower, let alone plan out a priority list for myself,” remember, there is a season. Even though it’s tempting to wish away this moment, to hurry ahead to more balance, you may just need to be still for now. Your priorities and your bandwidth may change as your kids grow and your work demands change. What seemed impossible to me as a new mom is a daily part of my life now that my kids are a little older. It’s just a fact that our self-care options may change depending on the stage of motherhood we’re in and that’s perfectly okay. 



It’s so normal to wish away the painful parts of parenting.


There are plenty of precious moments at each stage of parenthood but there are also plenty more moments of pure stress and strife. The real danger isn’t just with wishing the nasty or all-consuming parts away. It’s with these two common missteps: (1) trying to fix every natural developmental stage our child goes through and (2) expecting the transition through those stages to progress in a straight line, instead of a messy zig-zag.



Parenting from a “fix-it” mentality is a trap every parent

falls into from time to time.


I see it a lot in my practice. While a lot of new parents understand pretty quickly that feeding troubles and sleepless nights are just part of the game, many have difficulty as each developmental stage (and headache) arises. They look for solutions to problems that can’t be fixed, that have to just be waited out. And, while I’m impressed by their tenacious desire and willingness to problem-solve, sometimes I think they’ve been misled along the way by their friends and by society.


No one tells them this crucial parenting pearl:

yes, we can prevent and address a lot of health issues

that come up for newborns and young kids but some

things (like cluster feeding, sleep regressions and colic)

are more about muddling through with the right

perspective than they are about finding

quick-fix solutions.



Some things just take time to get better. Major caveat here: if you have a serious health concern about your child and are worried about their safety or about potential illness, contact your doctor right away.



We also struggle with set-backs and regressions.


When an elementary school child seems to more and more even-keeled, then has a period of heightened emotions and tantrums akin to the early toddler years, we tend to get immediately stressed. When a child has been sleeping through the night for an extended period of time, then suddenly has a season of sleep regression, it can feel like a major step back. It’s hard to wait on the mini storms and developmental detours of childhood to pass without rushing in to make adjustments. We forget that child development and the parenting experience do not move smoothly along a set curve. Often kids take one step backward before they catapult forward emotionally, physically, and cognitively. Because it’s unpredictable, parenting is painful. 


Please don’t misunderstand me. There are amazing, chart-topping experiences sprinkled in between the pain points. Like last night, when my eldest scampered up the stairs to sit through her baby sister’s bedtime story and song, crooning right alongside me to “Good Night My Someone,” my husband grinning as the two shared a hug and an Eskimo kiss. I tried my hardest to seal our fleeting seconds of peace into my memory, onto my parenting balance sheet.



So why is it so hard for us to get okay with the place we are in our motherhood journeys?


The more I struggle in my own house and watch others do the same, the more clearly I see the true reason. The rest of our lives, on the surface, have some semblance of controllability. All of our two-hour grocery delivery options and pick-up dry-cleaning services trick us into thinking that, if we just complain to the right customer-service agent or do the right google search, we can fix most anything. We can get anything faster if we just pay more for it. Resolution is an easy click away. When we look deeper, though, nothing could be further from the truth when it comes to the challenges of non-consumer life.




There are seasons.


Seasons of struggle. Seasons of celebration. Seasons of muddling through. And, seasons of letting it ride — just being okay with the stage of motherhood we’re in now.



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About the Episode: In this episode, Dr. Whitney sits down with Dr. Jay Gargus and Dave Justus from NeuroQure to discuss the power of early clarity when it comes to autism detection and why earlier intervention can fundamentally change outcomes for childre n and families. Dr. Gargus explains the science behind early behavioral therapies and why their impact goes far beyond short-term skill-building. Research shows that early, evidence-based interventions can lead to measurable, lifelong improvements in IQ, so cial skills, independence, and educational placement, often determining whether a child can thrive in mainstream education or requires ongoing specialized support. The conversation also tackles a critical and often overlooked issue: access. Dave Justus shares the personal motivation behind NeuroQure’s work and explains why the test is being launched at cost, with installment plans and employer subsidies, while the team works toward insurance coverage. The goal is to prevent families from losing precious years waiting for answers. Together, they emphasize a hopeful message for parents: families don’t need to wait for a future “silver bullet.” We already have therapies that work and getting kids connected to them earlier can change the course of a lifetime. In this episode, we discuss: Why early autism detection leads to lifelong changes—not just short-term gains What a 17-point IQ difference actually means for education, independence, and quality of life How early intervention can shift developmental trajectories as early as 6 months The science and validation behind current autism therapies Why NeuroQure is pricing testing at cost while pursuing insurance coverage How early clarity can reduce long-term strain on families, schools, and healthcare systems This episode is a powerful reminder that timing matters and that early access to answers can make an extraordinary difference for children and the families who love them. About Our Guest: Dr. Jay Gargus, MD, PhD is a physician-scientist and nationally recognized expert in neurodevelopmental disorders, with decades of experience researching the biological underpinnings of autism. His work has focused on translating well-established science into meaningful, real-world interventions that can improve lifelong outcomes for children. Dr. Gargus emphasizes that early, evidence-based therapies are already available—and that connecting families to them sooner can fundamentally change developmental trajectories. Dave Justus is a parent and the founder of NeuroQure, whose work is driven by personal experience navigating delayed autism diagnosis and intervention. Motivated by the belief that early clarity can spare families years of uncertainty, Dave is focused on expanding access to early testing through cost-based pricing and ongoing efforts to secure insurance coverage. His mission is simple but powerful: ensure families don’t have to wait for answers that could change everything. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Book Order your copy of My One-of-a-Kind Body 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books 🎁 Claim Your Free Bonus When you order on our site, you’ll also get access to a FREE video mini-course with five bite-sized lessons for parents. In just 25 minutes, you’ll walk away with: Simple, script-style ways to respond when your kid says, “I hate my thighs” How to talk about health without weight talk What to do when your own inner critic shows up How to interrupt diet culture at home The first step to raising a body-confident kid, even if you didn’t grow up as one 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. Leave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
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By Dr. Whitney December 17, 2025
About the Episode: In this episode, Dr. Whitney sits down with Dr. Jay Gargus and Dave Justus from NeuroQure to discuss the power of early clarity when it comes to autism detection and why earlier intervention can fundamentally change outcomes for childre n and families. Dr. Gargus explains the science behind early behavioral therapies and why their impact goes far beyond short-term skill-building. Research shows that early, evidence-based interventions can lead to measurable, lifelong improvements in IQ, so cial skills, independence, and educational placement, often determining whether a child can thrive in mainstream education or requires ongoing specialized support. The conversation also tackles a critical and often overlooked issue: access. Dave Justus shares the personal motivation behind NeuroQure’s work and explains why the test is being launched at cost, with installment plans and employer subsidies, while the team works toward insurance coverage. The goal is to prevent families from losing precious years waiting for answers. Together, they emphasize a hopeful message for parents: families don’t need to wait for a future “silver bullet.” We already have therapies that work and getting kids connected to them earlier can change the course of a lifetime. In this episode, we discuss: Why early autism detection leads to lifelong changes—not just short-term gains What a 17-point IQ difference actually means for education, independence, and quality of life How early intervention can shift developmental trajectories as early as 6 months The science and validation behind current autism therapies Why NeuroQure is pricing testing at cost while pursuing insurance coverage How early clarity can reduce long-term strain on families, schools, and healthcare systems This episode is a powerful reminder that timing matters and that early access to answers can make an extraordinary difference for children and the families who love them. About Our Guest: Dr. Jay Gargus, MD, PhD is a physician-scientist and nationally recognized expert in neurodevelopmental disorders, with decades of experience researching the biological underpinnings of autism. His work has focused on translating well-established science into meaningful, real-world interventions that can improve lifelong outcomes for children. Dr. Gargus emphasizes that early, evidence-based therapies are already available—and that connecting families to them sooner can fundamentally change developmental trajectories. Dave Justus is a parent and the founder of NeuroQure, whose work is driven by personal experience navigating delayed autism diagnosis and intervention. Motivated by the belief that early clarity can spare families years of uncertainty, Dave is focused on expanding access to early testing through cost-based pricing and ongoing efforts to secure insurance coverage. His mission is simple but powerful: ensure families don’t have to wait for answers that could change everything. Want to Start Raising Body-Confident Kids Today? 📘 Order the Book Order your copy of My One-of-a-Kind Body 👉 www.raisingbodyconfidentkids.com/books 🎁 Claim Your Free Bonus When you order on our site, you’ll also get access to a FREE video mini-course with five bite-sized lessons for parents. In just 25 minutes, you’ll walk away with: Simple, script-style ways to respond when your kid says, “I hate my thighs” How to talk about health without weight talk What to do when your own inner critic shows up How to interrupt diet culture at home The first step to raising a body-confident kid, even if you didn’t grow up as one 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. Leave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
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