MMD BLOG


CATEGORY:

A Working Mom Life You Want

HOW I MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION, EVERY TIME

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

September 28, 2023

HOW I MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION, EVERY TIME

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: A Working Mom Life You Want

If you’ve spent any time around here at Modern Mommy Doc, you’ve heard me talk a LOT about the hundreds of decisions moms make in a day. All the way from which kid gets the cool blue cup in the morning (which reminds me, for the love of everything holy, buy a second blue cup) to what to make for dinner to decisions about summer camps to hiring and firing decisions at work.


Even though they range from things that seem inconsequential to things that could literally be life and death, decision fatigue is real. And when we’re making so many effing decisions in a day, even making those small choices can seem like a lot.


So how are we supposed to know we’re making the right decisions? How are we supposed to be able to trust ourselves, when we aren’t just making decisions that us, but a lot of other people as well? And especially when there are so.many.voices who want to have opinions thrown into our lives?


Real life story time:


I have been crazy lucky over the last few years for me to work in an amazing pediatrics practice full-time, and then part-time in Portland, OR. I love my partners at work. They’re like family to me. 


But then my work at Modern Mommy Doc shifted and started taking up A LOT of my time and energy—time and energy I REALLY wanted to give to all of you. 


So, I had some tough decisions to make. If I wanted the flexibility I was yearning for, I would have to make some pretty big decisions about how many hours a week I committed to taking care of patients as their primary care physician. 


I tried to work through a lot of different options to see how I could continue in the exact same way I had been, but, in my mind, there simply was no way around it: it was time to move forward and change up my work schedule. I had to reduce my hours dramatically in the primary care space. It was clearly the best thing for me and my family.


Well, “clearly” wasn’t so clear to many other people besides myself. My husband did not think it was a great idea (at first). My mom didn’t think it was a great idea (at first). I had a lot of voices telling me that this was not going to work. That I was only making it a LOT harder on myself.


And I began to doubt myself. Questioning whether or not I was making the right decision. Was I going crazy? I felt in my gut that I knew what was best. But what if I was wrong?


Going through this reminded me why it’s SO important to have your own internal compass and to consistently practice listening to that. You must know yourself, your priorities, and your centered vision so well so that when a decision comes along, you have something steady and constant to point back to.


You have to have your True North that realigns you when you get off course from your centered points. Or that helps you to know that you’ve gotten off course in the first place!


Other people in our lives have baggage just like us. And, if we let it, it can keep us from being the best version of ourselves, just like it does them. Which is why it’s so important to be choosy about what voices you listen to. Whose voice you allow to speak into your decisions.


You need those people in your life that can be objective. And sometimes that’s not who’s closest to you or your situation. Sometimes, it’s just you and your intuition.


For me, it was me, my intuition, and my therapist.


What I learned: It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to choose one thing and decide that you need to try something else.


Because, at the end of the day, it’s your life. And you are the ultimate move maker in it.


And you are the one who’s left living it.


Want more? Tired of feeling like you have to do it all to be a good mom? Guess what? You don't! Check out my newest book release here.

Mama: Stop the Burnout!

Free 5-Day Program

START NOW
By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
By asterbenc July 22, 2025
YOU get to choose.
By Dr. Whitney July 16, 2025
Looking for the perfect backpack? Look no further.
By Your Working Mom Life June 12, 2025
Trust me: you can trust yourself.
By Your Motherhood Journey June 5, 2025
Is shame holding you back from all the relationships you wish you had?

Welcome! Get the information you need to win at parenting without losing yourself.

LEARN MORE

Doing it All is Finally Here!


Wish your partner would do more to lessen your mental load?


Want to make self-care a priority but not sure how to?


SIGN UP FOR SUSTAINABLE SELF-CARE. IT'S FREE. CLICK HERE



FRESH

ON THE PODCAST


By asterbenc July 29, 2025
About the Episode: In this eye-opening episode of the Modern Mommy Doc podcast, Dr. Whitney Casares sits down with child sleep experts Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale—two clinical psychologists and co-authors of The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep: A Tired Caregiver’s Workbook for Every Age and Stage (written with Dr. Shelby Harris) . Together, they break down the myths, shame, and unrealistic expectations that surround slee p training and offer compassionate, evidence-based advice that actually meets parents where they are. This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself, throw out the cookie-cutter advice, and start working with your child’s unique temperament, challenges, and developmental stage—whether that means defiant toddlers, anxious middle-schoolers, or non-sleeping newborns. About Our Guests: Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale are licensed clinical psychologists and moms who specialize in child and adolescent mental health. Together with co-author Dr. Shelby Harris, they created The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep to give exhausted parents the tools to support their kids’ sleep with confidence, flexibility, and empathy. Their approach is grounded in science—and shaped by real-life parenting. Follow them on Instagram: @essentialkidssleep Key Takeaways: Why this sleep book is different It’s written by clinical psychologists, not influencers—and it combines science, flexibility, and real-world parenting experience. How your child’s daytime behavior impacts nighttime sleep From anxious kids to defiant or ADHD children, the team explains why your child’s personality and emotional regulation during the day matters more than you think at bedtime. The truth about sleep “milestones” You’ll learn why your two-week-old shouldn’t be sleeping through the night, why “wake windows” are often misused, and why transitioning to a toddler bed before age 3 might be setting everyone up to fail. The importance of timing and readiness Parents don’t have to sleep train when they’re already overwhelmed. These experts offer a refreshing take on how to assess if now is the right time—and how to set up for success. What works for toddlers (and what doesn’t) You’ll hear how techniques like the “break method” and “camping out” can be adapted based on your child’s age and developmental stage. How to support anxious or defiant older kids at bedtime The language we use matters. For anxious kids, it's all about reducing pressure and focusing on rest. For defiant or ADHD kids, clear expectations and behavior-based plans are key. The shame-free approach every tired caregiver needs Sleep doesn’t have to be a battleground—or a place for guilt. These authors bring compassion and practicality to every step of the process. 📩 Subscribe to The Modern Mommy Doc Podcast for more episodes on parenting with confidence and clarity. L eave a review using the hashtag #ModernMommyDoc.
By asterbenc July 22, 2025
YOU get to choose.
By Your Working Mom Life June 12, 2025
Trust me: you can trust yourself.