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MAMA WELLNESS + MENTAL HEALTH

GOING MENTAL: HOW TO CULTIVATE CALM AMID CHAOS

 Modern Mommy Doc


PUBLICATION DATE:

Feb 08, 2021

GOING MENTAL: HOW TO CULTIVATE CALM AMID CHAOS

 Modern Mommy Doc

CATEGORY: MAMA WELLNESS + MENTAL HEALTH


“We do this hard work
here on the bike to remind
ourselves that we can
do hard things.”

 


I am in the dark cool of my converted garage. My feet are strapped in to the Peloton, and my legs begin to pick up the pace against a soundtrack of old-school Britney Spears and instructor Robin Arzón’s trademark wisdom.

 

“What are you going to do to protect your peace today?” Arzón asks. “Send the babies out of the room. You carved out 20 minutes today for you. Honor this moment.”

 

As the music blares and my legs spin, my mind quiets. Everything about my situation says “overstimulation,” and yet I feel calmer than I have all day. This, Mama, is what they mean when they talk about meditation in movement. And these days, finding a little inner peace is a self-care practice all parents need more of.


SCHEDULE WITH (SELF-)CARE


Last week, I blogged about some of the best ways you can boost your physical energy throughout the day. Rejuvenating our minds is just as important. (Especially considering the connections between stress and illness.) And the best way you can set yourself up for success is by keeping your schedule a doable level of busy. 


So how do you meet all the demands of your life while still making time for yourself? The key is to have a centered vision for your life. When you are clear about your goals and priorities, it makes it much easier to decide what to do, what to delegate, and what to dump.


I have lived this. There was a time when I spent most of my days doing things I thought I should do, things I believed would make me happy in the long run. But, as I have said before, the only dividends those investments pay out are resentment and burnout.


Reevaluating my priorities (self-care, kids, travel) clarified what I needed to spend more of my time doing. From there, everything else started to click into place. Which brings me to my other big recommendation for recharging your mental energy…


FINDING MOMENTS OF MINDFULNESS


“Mindful” is one of those terms that gets thrown around a lot. But its popularity doesn’t diminish its impact: mindfulness brings us into alignment with the people we want to be and the experiences we want to have.


Carina Devi from the Mindful Mamas Club  expressed this beautifully when she joined me on my podcast  a few weeks ago. She recalled a time when she was snuggling with her son and started mentally planning out that evening’s dinner and grocery list. She caught herself, stopped, and returned to the moment. The sensation of feeling the rise and fall of her child’s chest as he breathed, of feeling his skin against hers, THAT was what she had dreamed of before he’d been born. THAT was what she wanted to focus on. Dinner could wait.


We can all learn from that, because we have all essentially been there. Whether it’s me thinking about patients while I’m spinning, Carina planning dinner during snuggle time, or any parent who’s spent a child’s soccer game returning emails instead of cheering from the stands, it’s all too easy to spend your days anywhere except where you are.


MINDFULNESS IN ACTION


So how can you give your mind the breathing space it needs? Here are a few ways to enhance (or start!) your mindfulness practice.


  1. Create a morning ritual. Give yourself 10 minutes every morning to do something reflective that brings you joy. Sipping coffee while looking at your backyard, journaling, meditating, reading it all counts. 
  2. Practice meditation in movement. So much of each day consists of completing tasks on autopilot. (Think making lunches for the kids.) Turn those routine chores into meditative opportunities. That means tuning in to the world around you as you go through the motions of the task at hand. Don’t listen, judge, or think but simply notice the sounds, the light, and the smells around you. Observing creates connection, and connection serves to refresh the mind.
  3. Start meditating for real. The benefits of meditation are extensive and include improved attention and memory, and reduced anxiety and fatigue. If you’re new to meditating, there are tons of great apps available to help you launch a practice. Check out Mindful Mamas Club for tips and methods specific to your stage of parenting, Headspace for a user-friendly experience, or Chorus for meditation set to pop music.
  4. Just breathe. Toddler tantrums, problematic coworkers, traffic...when it comes to stressors, today’s world offers up plenty of options. So when you feel your heart rate start to rise, take a moment to slow down. Root your feet firmly to the ground. Place your hands in a soothing posture (like over your heart or stomach), close your eyes, and inhale slowly and deeply. Notice the pause between inhalation and exhalation. Then exhale loudly, almost like a sigh. Repeat two or three times to slow your heart rate and focus your mind.
  5. Plug into a (perfectly paced) playlist. According to author and wellness expert Dr. Frank Lipman, listening to music with roughly 60 beats per minute helps regulate your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, and reduce tension. (Your internal rhythms, Lipman says, will naturally sync up with the external rhythms you’re hearing.) Not sure how many beats your favorite song is? Music by Bob Marley is a good example of the right rhythm. 
  6. Unplug from your devices. In addition to unplugging at least an hour before bedtime, try to detach from all devices on the weekends. Giving yourself the chance to look anywhere except a screen means you have more opportunities to check in with the world around you.
  7. Do less. This is especially true on the weekends. It’s so tempting to pack your schedule, but if pandemic-living has taught us anything, it’s the beauty of a streamlined lifestyle. Make your priorities the focus of your weekend and embrace the JOMO
  8. Connect more. In the age of Zoom, this might mean video chatting with friends and family. And while getting on the phone for a scheduled call might feel like the last thing you want to do on Saturday afternoon, it’s different when the only purpose is to catch up with people you love. (Plus social connection is a top predictor for well-being.)

 

Mama, our minds form the foundation of our well-being. Keeping them healthy and energized makes us better partners, parents, professionals, and people. May we all find more mindful moments in our days.


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About Our Guest: Whitney Casares, MD, MPH, FAAP, is a practicing board-certified pediatrician, author, speaker, and full-time working mom. Dr. Whitney is a Stanford University-trained private practice physician whose expertise spans the public health, direct patient care, and media worlds. She holds a Master of Public Health in Maternal and Child Health from The University of California, Berkeley, and a Journalism degree from California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo. She is also CEO and Founder of Modern Mommy Doc. Dr. Whitney advocates for the success of career-driven caregivers in all facets of their lives, guiding them toward increased focus, happiness, and effectiveness despite the systemic challenges and inherent biases that threaten to undermine them. 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With your time, with your money, with your emotions. People ask me how I grew and I told them it took a lot of time and a lot of my own money. There were times that that was discouraging, but because all of this was tied to my why, I was able to push forward. 4) Figure out what you can outsource and what has to be done by you. At the beginning you might not have any money to outsource with. But set yourself up for success and know what you’ll hand off when you get to that point. Don’t waste time trying to do it all. 5) Network based on what you love & pay for good PR. When you want to grow your business, network with the people that you genuinely connect with, not just because you might get a sale. Figure out who it would be mutually beneficial for you to get to know. And when it comes to PR, you’ve gotta pay to play the game. PR isn’t for instant leads, but is also a long game like networking. 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By SYSTEMIC CHANGE 18 Apr, 2024
About Our Guest: Whitney Casares, MD, MPH, FAAP, is a practicing board-certified pediatrician, author, speaker, and full-time working mom. Dr. Whitney is a Stanford University-trained private practice physician whose expertise spans the public health, direct patient care, and media worlds. She holds a Master of Public Health in Maternal and Child Health from The University of California, Berkeley, and a Journalism degree from California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo. She is also CEO and Founder of Modern Mommy Doc. Dr. Whitney advocates for the success of career-driven caregivers in all facets of their lives, guiding them toward increased focus, happiness, and effectiveness despite the systemic challenges and inherent biases that threaten to undermine them. She speaks nationally about her Centered Life Blueprint, which teaches working caregivers how to pay attention to what matters most amid pressure, at multibillion-dollar corporations like Adidas and Nike, and at executive-level conferences. She is a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics and medical consultant for large-scale organizations, including Good Housekeeping magazine, Gerber, and L’Oreal (CeraVe). Her work has been featured in Forbes, Thrive Global, and TODAY Parenting. She is a regular contributor to Psychology Today. Dr. Whitney practices medicine in Portland, Oregon, where she and her husband raise their two young daughters. About the Episode: Dr. Whitney shares the principles she's learned as a solopreneur in the health and wellness space, the failures she's faced, and the truths she wishes she would have known from the very beginning. Episode Takeaways: This is not an episode about “how to grow a multimillion dollar business” or how to double your following overnight. I really shy away from talking about business because it’s disheartening to see that most of the people making online are people who are trying to teach you how to make money online. This is an episode that comes from many conversations I’ve had recently with people who are wanting to start a side hustle or even a full blown business, but are curious how to do that with the rest of life that’s going on around them. I’ve recently made a hugely drastic shift in my career and have moved from private practice into a company called Blueberry Pediatrics . It is a shift that still allows me to practice medicine as well as still running Modern Mommy Doc full time. The thinking behind this shift really is born out of these 8 tips I have about running a business while you’re working full time or maybe still taking care of your family. 1) Know your why. We’ve heard it a thousand times, but if we don’t know the driving force behind why we want to do a certain thing, it’s infinitely easier to stop doing it when things get hard. Ask yourself why you’re so committed to this one particular area. In my business, my why is to help, support, and encourage women (specifically working moms) so they don’t feel alone in their journey. So when I’m pulled away from my family for a time period or I’m exhausted from traveling, I remember the greater mission behind what I do. 2) Expect that you’re going to fail. I just pulled the plug on a project we had been working on at Modern Mommy Doc for two years: the Modern Mamas Club app. I thought it was going to be so valuable for moms, when in reality it was just duplicating what we already had. I learned so much through that process and at the beginning, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. Failure is a natural part of growth. 3) Prepare to invest in your business. With your time, with your money, with your emotions. People ask me how I grew and I told them it took a lot of time and a lot of my own money. There were times that that was discouraging, but because all of this was tied to my why, I was able to push forward. 4) Figure out what you can outsource and what has to be done by you. At the beginning you might not have any money to outsource with. But set yourself up for success and know what you’ll hand off when you get to that point. Don’t waste time trying to do it all. 5) Network based on what you love & pay for good PR. When you want to grow your business, network with the people that you genuinely connect with, not just because you might get a sale. Figure out who it would be mutually beneficial for you to get to know. And when it comes to PR, you’ve gotta pay to play the game. PR isn’t for instant leads, but is also a long game like networking. 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It reminds me that I’m so grateful for my job, that it’s flexible so that I work where I want, and that I’m in control of my life. A big way I do this is through a travel rotation with my kids and husband. Each trip I go on while consulting, I’ll rotate through taking one daughter, then the next, then my husband, then I’ll do a solo trip. These are trips they never would have been able to take on their own, and it’s a cool way my business gets to give back to my family. 8) The way you set up your business is a marker if you will be successful. Not the way you structure it, but the mindset you have around it. In fact, there are so many parallels between the way I run my business and the things I taught in my newest book, Doing It All: trying to build efficiency into how I do my tasks, batching my work, not spending extra time on stuff that doesn’t matter at all, swapping out for what others can do for me, pairing things that aren’t enjoyable with things that are, not letting things contaminate my time, and making sure my desk, home, and calendar are decluttered. More Blogs on this Topic: T he forgotten boundary: setting limits with yourself Thanks for the cookies in the breakroom, I’m still tired Wake up, working mama. Are you wasting your life? More Podcast Episodes on this Topic: T ranslating “mom skills” into “boss skills” How to be an ambitious, out of the box, career maker and an engaged mom How to claim your confidence as a working mom
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